#Kink checklist how to
#Kink checklist pdf
#Kink checklist free

If there's something where you just have no idea, that's an IDK. A yes is an 'I want to' or 'I think I would,' and a no is 'I don't want to' or 'I don't think I would.' A maybe is an 'I might,' either only with certain people, at certain times, or in other specific circumstances.

#Kink checklist how to

Want some direct help figuring all of this out? Not sure what some of these things even mean? Want to talk about how to do this with a partner? Our staff and volunteers can do that with you on our moderated forums, or, if you're in the United States, you can text us at: (206) 866-2279. Make some agreements in advance about the way you'll both address this with each other with maturity and care. If you are going to do this with a partner, also be sure you're both earnestly ready to know and accept all of each other's truths (and to be truthful).

#Kink checklist free

If there are areas of this you don't feel ready to talk about, or that just make you really uncomfortable, feel free to hack it up in a word doc to make it into what you need and want. If you're doing it with someone, you want to have been together for a while to have built some trust, to have some solid sense of your relationship and to have already started to discuss many things on this list already. It would be overwhelming to find flopped in one's hands after only hanging out for a few days. Young people often tell us they want some serious sexual intimacy: this is that kind of intimacy, big time. This is a lot of very personal information for anyone to give or ask for. You might only use it for self-evaluation and your own decision-making, to get a better sense of where you stand or what you want to talk about with a partner without sharing it or having them fill it out for themselves.ģ) If you want to do it with a partner? Even though we use the term 'partner' here to mean anyone with whom you'd be engaging in any kind of sexual contact or relationship, this is not first-date stuff. If you're answering about things you have no experience with, go with your gut on what you feel like you want.

When you're answering, figure this is about now: not right this very second, but in your life overall at this time and over the next few months. Take your time, especially with areas or questions you haven't thought about before or haven't had experience with yet. (It makes a fine bedfellow for our Sex Readiness Checklist, too!)Ģ) First do it alone.

#Kink checklist pdf

Or, you can print it out using this PDF file, and fill it in by hand. ¿Prefieres leer en español? Tenemos 'Sí, no, quizá' aquí.ġ) You can either just read through it online, using it as a mental self-evaluation tool or talking with a partner as you both scroll through it. So, we've made one specifically for Scarleteen readers including all the issues you ask us about and we've talked about together over the years. They've been used for a long time by sexuality educators, sex therapists, communities, couples and individuals, and they can be seriously useful tools. Yes, No and Maybe lists aren't something we invented. We might also sometimes find ourselves feeling inclined to only say what we think a partner wants to hear, or only responding to what they bring up rather than putting our own stuff on the table and initiating our own questions. It can feel like being asked what you want to eat at a restaurant without having a menu to even know your options. When sex is newer to us, we may not even have a sense of all there is to talk about. It might be particularly tough to start these conversations if talking about sex openly and out loud is something you've never done. Someone might ask what you do or don't like, or what may or may not be okay with you, and you may find you - or a partner, when they're asked - have a hard time knowing how to respond.

Starting deep and honest communication about sex can be daunting, especially in areas which can be more loaded, tricky or where we feel vulnerable. We can't just know or guess what we or others want or need, like or dislike, are or are not okay with: we need to communicate those things and have them communicated to us. It's the best way to assure everyone is fully and freely consenting and physically and emotionally safe to help sex and sexual relationships be as satisfying, positive and awesome as they can be.

Clear, truthful and open communication is a must with partnered sex.